


Zettai Daijobu

by TamChronin



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-06-13 21:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15373236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TamChronin/pseuds/TamChronin
Summary: Syaoran loves Sakura with all his heart. He has returned to her, to be by her side forever, to live near her and go to school with her in Japan. He couldn't be happier...especially since she drives the nightmares from his mind.





	1. Dismissive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peacewish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacewish/gifts).



You would think it's as simple as all that, but the day I returned to Tomoeda, the day I returned to my Sakura, was the day the nightmares began.  It started out as literal nightmares that I wish now I hadn't shrugged off.  They lacked the unique quality that a prophetic dream usually has, and since all my dreams are vivid I ignored them.

The dreams were also never the same.  They were just--scary.  Sometimes bloody.  Sometimes haunting.  Sometimes they were normal dreams that just filled me with a nameless dread and had me waking up in a cold sweat.  How was I supposed to know they were a warning of something to come when they wouldn't cooperate and spell out what the impending problem was?

They were only nightmares.

I would walk to school every morning, rehashing the nightmares and worrying over them.  I've had enough magic training to have given the nightmares some consideration, but I always came to the conclusion that they weren't anything important.

Particularly every time I saw _her_.  Thoughts of nightmares or anything less than happy simply flew from my mind in the face of the sunny smile she always wore every morning when we met.  I couldn't help it.  Her clear green eyes always sparkled with life and hope and I could hear her spirit reciting the familiar litany of "zettai daijobu!" whenever we met.  It would all be absolutely all right.  That was so easy to believe when she stood before me and smiled just for me and reached for my hand.

Every day was like that.  I enjoyed two weeks of this, forgetting the nightmares as soon as I saw her smile.

Sakura is just like that.

And finally, one day, I walked her home from school.  The sakura were in full bloom, and my girlfriend always looked radiant when the blossoms she was named for fell around her like warm, enchanted snow. She danced as a gentle breeze picked up the flower petals like a child upturning a snow globe.  They swirled around us in a fragrant drift, and when the petals landed in her hair she giggled.   I reached over and brushed a few from her shoulders, then pulled one from her hair.  The world went into slow motion at that moment and I felt the heat of the blood rushing to my cheeks.  We were so close I could smell the clean scent of her shampoo and the light perfume she wore.

My heart was pounding faster than it had since I had first admitted how I felt about her.  I was lightheaded, and my whole world was comprised of her, standing there, looking at me with more adoration than I could ever hope to deserve.  She was perfect, and I was standing there, touching her, and she was smiling at me, just for me.  I would move the heavens and earth for her if she asked it, just to know that she would smile like that for me again.  I would slay dragons for her, if that was her wish, just to be able to feel her in my arms--

She stepped closer to me and laid her head on my shoulder, breathing a deep and happy sigh, and I thought I could die at that moment and not regret a thing.  I held her close, feeling her silken hair against my cheek, hearing her breathe so close to my ear.  I could feel her warm breath on my neck and my heart swelled.

The words look cliché and used, but it's true.  Maybe they've become cliché because they're so true.  I was in love.  I am in love.  My Sakura is my everything, and when I'm with her I can't think beyond that.

That afternoon though, our hugging was rudely interrupted by a shout from up the street.  "Oi!  What do you think you're doing with my sister, gaki?"

I groaned and held her closer for a moment, holding tight to the last moment we would be allowed.  As I finally let go and turned around my only consolation was the gentle chiding his companion delivered.  Touya Kinomoto was walking down the street, glaring at me with every step, his anger at my daring radiating off of him in waves.

Sakura was quick to jump to my defense also, literally stepping between the two of us.  "Onii-chan!  He didn't do anything!  If you must know, I hugged him, not the other way around."

"It looked pretty mutual from here," he growled in return.  "That's enough for me."

It was a no win situation for me.  He hated me for loving her, but he'd hate me more for breaking her heart if I left.  He would never forgive me for having her heart.  I didn't care.  From the beginning we had rubbed each other the wrong way, and I didn't think we'd ever find a way to change that.  I had gotten off on the wrong foot with him, and he wasn't the sort to change his mind about people.  Ever.

The pale young man beside Touya, Yukito Tsukishiro, brought a hand up to rest gently on his companion's arm.  "Touya," he admonished gently, "it wouldn't hurt to leave them alone about it once in a while."

Sakura beamed appreciatively at her brother's best friend, but I was waiting warily for Touya's response.  I wasn't disappointed.

At first he looked like he was going to explode.  He noticed something in Yukito's eyes, a glimmer of humor and teasing maybe, and he relaxed a bit.  "You think I'm going to stand by and watch that predator grope my sister in public?"

I glared.  He glared.  Yukito shook his head, but smiled patiently.  Sakura laughed.  These were all typical responses except for the laugh, but I was grateful that Sakura had found some humor.  It somehow disarmed what could have been world war three between us.  I didn't grope.  I never did something so vulgar as to grope.  I held her.

I swallowed my retort though.  I didn't have a little sister, but I'd probably react the same if I saw some guy kissing one of my sisters or Meiling.  The thought of that happening gave me a _deep_ appreciation for Touya's situation.

Understanding does not equal forgiveness though, so the glares wouldn't be ending any time soon.  Not as long as he kept glaring at me first.

He and I both turned to Sakura at the same time with matching expressions of irritation and confusion.  "What's so amu-" We both stopped at the same point even, saying the exact same thing at the exact same time.  A mini glare was exchanged between us before we returned our attention to Sakura.

It was obvious.  A pink flower petal had fallen directly on her nose, right between her eyes.  "It tickles," she laughed.  She was so adorable.  She smiled so wide, and then a breeze took the petal away.  She'd gone cross-eyed for a moment too, and while she refocused her eyes there was just something about her expression....

Maybe I'm just too in love.

I took her hand defiantly, glaring at her brother.  Then I smiled at her, and we walked hand in hand to her front door.  Touya and Yukito had followed along, so I couldn't claim a goodbye kiss.

"Are you sure you won't come in for a snack?"

I shook my head.  "I'd love to, but I'm expecting a call from home this afternoon, and I have a lot of studying to do."  It still took me longer to do my homework than everyone else I knew.  I had to think hard about the kanji and when it meant something totally unexpected or unrelated to what I was used to.  It was becoming easier over time, don't get me wrong, but I was slower at it than I'd like to be, so I gave myself plenty of time for homework.

She smiled.  She understood.  She watched me back away, down the sidewalk, and she waved her fingers.  A wild grin spread across her face, and she blew me a kiss as soon as her brother wasn't looking.

At that moment I lost track of the feel of my feet touching the ground.  I knew realistically that I wasn't floating or flying because I knew what both of those felt like from experience.  But...I was lightheaded, and the world was perfect, and I didn't feel my feet touch the ground while I walked home.  I didn't stop smiling.  I walked back down under the row of sakura trees and laughed.

At that moment I thought the world was perfect.

That thought was only with me for a moment before pain lanced across my back and my world turned red.  The nightmares had come.


	2. Resistance

I rolled to the ground, dodging automatically.  Training kicked in and I jumped to my feet, facing whatever had struck me.  All I saw was a faint shimmer in the air and drops of blood on the carpet of flower petals beneath me.  I looked around for whatever had struck me, but could see nothing there.  I backed away, not wanting to hold still and present myself as a stationary target, but I was moving slower than I should have.  I could find no enemy.

There was magic buzzing in the air, and I couldn't believe I'd missed it before now.  It made my skin itch and tingle, but I couldn't focus on where it was coming from.  It was almost as if I were surrounded by the magical influence.  I took a gasping breath and pulled out my pendant.  Before I could draw out the magical sword contained within though, I was struck across the face.

It stung more than anything, but I soon blocked out the pain as I whirled and looked for my attacker.  Still no one.  The sense of magic was stronger now, not just surrounding me, but invading me, infecting me.  I felt a tickle on my cheek and rubbed it automatically.  My fingers came away wet, covered in blood, and tingling even more with the feel of magic.

I stopped hesitating and drew out my sword in a long slash, hoping to catch something as I did so.  I had no such luck, but at least I had my weapon out.  I felt more confident already until I felt something stab into my right arm.  I almost let go in pain and surprise, my vision blurring as I grasped the wound with my left hand.  My fingers brushed against something hard and smooth, then I was just holding torn flesh.  It throbbed, but it stopped hurting almost right away.  Nothing hurt.  My blood was pounding through my veins and the world was glowing, shimmering around me, but there was no pain.

I fell to my knees, feeling faintly queasy and too dizzy to stand.  I glimpsed a figure in white flying towards me, and another figure running below, but I couldn't focus my eyes.  I thought I knew who they must be anyway, and I tried to call out to them, to warn them of my invisible attacker, but my vocal cords rebelled.  The world was going white.  I felt myself fall forward, expected to hit the ground, but I lost awareness before that happened.

~~~~~@~~~~~

I didn't want to wake up after that.  I knew it would hurt as soon as I felt the veil of dreams slip from my grasping fingers, and I was not disappointed.  At first it felt like everything just hurt.  I couldn't isolate any one center of pain, because it all hurt.

"I can heal him," a soft voice murmured, and I felt pulled back to reality.  My cheek was burning and itching like mad, but I'd had worse when I was learning to use the sword.  My back was in similar shape, and I was thankful that the nerve endings on the back were so far apart.  I squirmed, trying to relieve some of the itching feeling, but I regretted it immediately.  The cut burned from left shoulder to right buttock, and ached further in from there.

That was only a slight distraction from my arm however.  It had been wrapped tight by something and it throbbed dully.  I was aware in a somewhat detached manner that it hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt, but something about it didn't quite reach me.  It was too much to wrap my mind around.  I tried to think of it as a burning, like my entire arm was on fire, but that was an inadequate description.  The limb didn't feel like mine as I opened my eyes finally and looked down at it.  A blood soaked shirt had been wrapped around it.  My fingers looked pale, and for a moment I wondered what it would feel like to try to move them.

In the end wisdom prevailed over morbid curiosity and I didn't make the attempt.

"I didn't know you could heal people," came the harsh voice that could only belong to Touya.  My stomach rolled, thinking of him seeing me defeated like this.  I couldn't stand showing any sign of weakness in front of him.  This was unthinkable.

I tried to sit up, but a warm hand with a cool, ice blue aura was placed on my forehead and I found myself unable to move.  "What sort of guardian would I be if I couldn't keep Sakura safe enough that you didn't need to know?"  I could almost see the piercing silver glare that would accompany such a question from Yue.  He was not one to suffer fools.

I still had scars to prove that.

And yet, I was reminded more often how kind and caring Sakura's moon guardian was.  As his fingers deftly slid over my wounds and sent tingles of healing magic through me, I remembered clearly what a huge debt I owed him.  He had helped me realize that Sakura was the one I had the strongest feelings for.  I don't know how I would have been able to stand many more of those conflicted days without his advice.  I looked within myself, and I saw her beautiful green eyes staring back at me with perfect trust and innocence.

"Thank you," I murmured softly, both for his aid now, and his help in the past.

"I didn't know he was awake," Touya said in a somewhat accusatory tone.

"You didn't ask," Yue replied with his usual stoicism.  I almost smirked, but Yue's hands were directing me to sit up, and my back flared with new pain.

I settled for opening my eyes so I could glare.  "I'm not that weak, Kinomoto-san."

"You'd better not be," he glared in return.  The air between us was charged with electricity, crackling with the power of the intense rivalry between us.

But what he'd just said--  "Wait, what do you mean by that?"

Touya's hands clenched, and he turned his glare to some unknown point in the distance.  He didn't answer for a very long time, looking angry and worried at the same time, but he looked reluctant to put into words the thing that was bothering him.  Yue worked silently at my back, gently brushing the long gash there until it was numb as well.  It would take a while for the magic to restore me completely, but with the process begun I felt ready to face anything.

Or so I thought.

It was Yue who finally spoke next.  "We're going to need your help.  Sakura has been kidnapped, and we'll need help to find her."

Only Yue could have summed up the situation in those few words.  I stared, disbelieving.  What power on earth could possibly take Sakura?  If someone that powerful existed, what use could I be in helping her?  Oh, I'd do everything in my power, but for those first few moments I was terrified that I'd be inadequate.

It was automatic for me to take physical action whenever doubt overcame me, so I did the stupidest thing imaginable.  "Let's go then," I shouted, jumping to my feet.

I think I imagined Touya's smirk as I fell back to the ground.  I think.  Nevertheless, the sudden movement was enough to make me pass out yet again, and this time I was out a lot longer than a few moments.


	3. Dreams and Nightmares

I don't know if I was caught on the way down.  I can't imagine Yue letting me reinjure myself after all he'd done to heal me, but I had dropped as quickly as I jumped to my feet in the first place.  Where Sakura is concerned, I'm not the smartest of people, and hearing that she was in danger had erased all rationality from my mind.

White light blanketed everything, and I was lost to the world.

~~~~~@~~~~~

_Sakura was laughing, dancing in a fragrant swirl of white flower petals.  "Aren't they beautiful, Syaoran?"_

_"Not nearly as beautiful as you are, Sakura."  It was breathtaking.  I wanted to run over and give her a hug, kiss her sweet lips, and just feel her close to me.  I started to move...._

_The petals swirled faster, hitting me in the face, the arms...I held up a hand to protect my face and found blood dripping from cuts.  The petals were like razors, slicing into me, cutting me swiftly and slightly and just enough to bleed.  It itched, driving me crazy because I knew I couldn't scratch it.  I'd only make it worse._

_I looked up again, searching for Sakura, needing to see that she was okay, but another flurry kicked up and erased that spot from my sight.  "Sakura?"_

_I raced forward, bracing myself for more cuts.  The flower petals came faster, harder, and I was terrified that she would be killed in the middle of that.  But, she had magic of her own...._

_Magic...._

_I pulled out my sword, preparing, but everything suddenly went still.  Petals hung suspended in the air, and the only sounds that reached my ear were the rasping of my breath and pounding of my heart.  I whirled around, trying to see what was going on, but everything was completely obscured.  I began to take steps forward, but even in stillness the flower petals were as sharp as blades, and a lot less yielding now._

_There had to be a better way.  I pulled out an ofuda, one for fire, and chanted to bring it to life.  The petals didn't burn--they melted away like snow.  It was all snow.  But, there was so much, hanging in the air, glittering and blinding, I could never melt it all.  Not without risking anyone on the other side of the snow._

_Did I want to risk wind?  Did I want to see what lightning would do?  Did--?_

_As I deliberated, the snowflakes spun in place and then suddenly dropped with the sound of a thousand pins falling to the floor.  The air was clear.  I could finally see beyond the tips of my fingers._

_I wasn't where I'd been before.  It was a room, stark and white, and I was looking all around when I heard something behind me.  A girl was giggling, singing, sighing happily.  I turned to look, but I couldn't move.  I couldn't see.  I kept trying, but the harder I tried the more I couldn't seem to actually move until...._

_It was Sakura.  She was dressed in white.  She was wrapped in it, looking pure and more beautiful than ever, and she was being held by--_

~~~~~@~~~~~

I snapped awake before I could see anything more.  It felt almost as if I'd been kicked out of my own dream.  I sat up, gasping for breath, unable to concentrate on the dream at all because I was burning all over.  All I paid attention to about my surroundings was that I was in the Kinomoto living room, lying on the couch, and that I was alone.  That was enough to know I was safe before the pain stole all my attention.

Fire was racing through my veins, but I was shivering with cold at the same time.  It was heavy with magic, almost suffocating me, and I wondered what on earth could be doing this.  I moaned, slowly sitting up despite the pain.  I couldn't stay there.  Sakura needed me, so I couldn't stay lying down like that, no matter what.

"Take it easy, you're still in bad shape."  The voice caught me by surprise, and I whipped my head around to the chair that was nominally behind me.  Well, it was behind me from the position I was in, but it was to my left as soon as I sat properly on the couch.  Yukito sat there, looking almost as worried as I felt.

"How long was I out?"

He shook his head helplessly.  "I'm not sure.  I've been sitting here, trying to think, for only a few minutes.  You'd have to ask To-ya."

I shivered again, hard, wishing for a blanket or a fan.  It was impossible, feeling so hot and so cold at once.  I wasn't sure which one to try to remedy first.  It was simply a miserable feeling.  "I'll do that," I said as I hugged my arms to my chest and wiped away sweat.  "Has anything happened that I should know about?"

He spread his hands and shrugged.  "We don't really know anything useful."

"Yeah, okay.  I'll just ask Touya," I said with a sigh.

"No, I mean no one knows anything.  We don't have the first clue where to look for her.  Keroberus and the cards are missing too, and Yue can't feel a trace of them.  There aren't any clues, and no one could even see who or what attacked us all and took her.  That's what I came in here to think about."

My skin was crawling.  Despite the pain and discomfort, I stood and began pacing, and that surprisingly made me feel better.  "Somebody has to know something, I can't accept that she's gone without a trace.  We will find her, we'll get her back, and nothing is going to stop me."

"Do you have any ideas," came the wry question from the kitchen doorway, "because Yuki and I are fresh out."

I turned to Sakura's brother with a much more subdued version of the glare we usually exchanged.  I couldn't very well back down from him, but I was also grateful for his help while I was unconscious.  It was a bit of a dilemma.  I sighed and decided there were bigger things than past resentment and tense feelings, and that's what actually lead to my next thought.  "Hiiragizawa.  If he doesn't have any answers, he'll at least know where to look."

Touya nodded, for once not openly hostile simply because I was in his presence.  "Do you have his number?"

I sighed heavily.  "No.  He's not exactly one of my favorite people.  Sakura would have it written--" No, I didn't want to snoop through her things.  I paused to think and then snapped my fingers with a triumphant grin.  "Daidouji.  She keeps in touch with him, so if anyone has it she would."

He moved to hand me the phone, but I shook my head.  I didn't exactly have her number memorized after all.  But...she had immediately given me a new cell phone when I'd come back.  It was another prototype from her mother's company, and the first two numbers programmed into the speed dial were hers and Sakura's.  I pulled the phone out of my blazer pocket and was relieved that it hadn't been damaged at some point in all the fighting.

When she picked up the phone I didn't give her a chance to actually say anything first.  "I need Hiiragizawa's number.  It's an emergency."

"Li-kun?  What's wrong?  What happened?"

"Please, just hurry.  I need to talk to him.  Now."

"If you don't mind, I can connect him on a third line, so you don't have to explain twice."

She must have been burning with curiosity to suggest that, but it did make sense.  "Fine, whatever, I just need to talk to him."

I began pacing again, more restless than I could remember.  It felt good to be moving around, letting my blood flow.  I waited for the connection to go through in silence, but after a few minutes I let out a growl of frustration.

"He's not answering," Tomoyo said in concern.  I rolled my eyes, having heard the whole thing myself.

"I noticed," I said caustically.  "Is there another number we can reach him at that you know of?"

"No, that's the only one I ever had.  I'm sorry, but maybe if we try later--"

"That's okay.  I'll try something else.  Thank you anyway."  I hung up without thinking, realizing belatedly that I hadn't explained anything to her.  I cursed softly to myself, picking up the phone again to call her back, but it began to ring before I could.  I was about to apologize; I was sure it could only be Tomoyo since she was supposed to be the only other person with this number.

"I'm sorry, Li-kun.  It would be cruel for Daidouji-san to hear such disturbing news over the telephone."

It took me a few moments to place the voice.  It belonged to an older woman, and it was familiar, but who--?  "Mizuki-sensei!"

Behind me I heard Touya exclaim softly, "Kaho?"  It distracted me a moment, as I wondered how he was on such terms with that teacher.  Then, she started speaking again, so I filed away the information for later.

"Yes.  I am sorry neither of us answered the phone just now, but it was deliberate as we have no good news to share."

"What do you mean?  Why not?"  How could either that teacher, or Hiiragizawa, not know where Sakura was?  Between the two of them they seemed to know everything else!

"I'm sorry.  There is very strong magic at work here, as I'm sure you know.  I've had precognitive dreams for the last week now, but I couldn't tell anything from them.  Eriol says he has experienced something similar."

"I have as well," I admitted with a sigh, recalling the nightmares of the last week.  "They didn't make any sense, so I didn't spend much time trying to puzzle them out."  It chafed to admit to something like that, but it seemed I wasn't alone in this.

"Do you remember any of the events from your dreams?  That might help to figure out what the next step should be."

"No.  I remember that I had the dreams, but everything about them is gone."  Okay, *that* one really chafed to admit, especially when I saw Touya and Yukito looking at me like that from across the room.  No, maybe I was imagining the accusing looks because that's what I wanted to see.  I *should* feel guilty for letting Sakura down!  They *should* be staring at me like I was an idiot for ignoring such blatant and glaring signs.

Mizuki-sensei murmured something inaudible, and I heard a deeper voice reply in the background.  Great, I thought.  Now Hiiragizawa would be laughing at me too.  "I'm sorry to hear that, Li-kun.  It has been much the same over here, though Eriol said he wrote down his dreams after they happened."

"I usually would have," I mumbled, ashamed.  He was showing me up again, making me feel like just another kid when he had his act together.

"I would have too," she admitted ruefully.  "I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful this time.  You have the excuse of moving recently though, so don't put yourself down about it.  At least we have something to work with, yes?"

Why was she trying to make me feel better about this?  I was both grateful and annoyed, and I didn't need that mix of emotions floating on top of everything else right now.  "Yeah.  Great.  I'm in your debt."  I kept my voice even, but I had to wonder if she read my feelings as well as usual over the phone.  I also wondered if I really *wanted* her to.

She just laughed.  "We'll fax over his notes so you can look at them.  I just wish there was something more we could do, but there's nothing we can do to help from here.  So, you're not in anyone's debt, just find Sakura, okay?"

Yes.  Of course.  Finding Sakura was the only thing that really mattered.  For her I would accept help from anyone.  To have her back, safe and secure, I would swallow my pride and do whatever was necessary.  There were worse things in the world, after all.  "Thank you for your help," I said, humbled.

"You can thank me when Sakura is safe," I heard Eriol call into the phone from across the room.

I just nodded as the line went dead.  It made sense.  I hurried over to the Kinomoto's fax machine to look at the pages as quickly as they came up.  There was no time to lose, now that we had something that might be a lead. 


	4. Doldrums

I was so intent on trying to decipher Hiiragizawa's notes, half in Japanese, half in English, that it didn't register to me when Touya walked past to answer the door.  I heard Daidouji's soft voice asking for Sakura, telling Touya that she was having a difficult time getting anyone to answer their telephones.  I did look up as he ushered her in, and barely noted the shock and puzzlement that crossed her features.

"Li-kun?  What's going on?  Where's Sakura-chan?"

No one wanted to answer, obviously.  I certainly didn't, and I rustled the pages in front of me almost as if giving an excuse as to why I should not be the one to tell her.

Silence rang out throughout the room.  I stubbornly read through a few more lines of text, then looked up.  Touya looked stunned, his mouth working, but no sound coming out.  Yukito was staring out the window, pain written on his face, but he was clearly also at a loss for words.  I slammed the fax pages down on the coffee table and let out a low growl of frustration.  Well...I was the one who knew her the best after all, since we'd been through so much together.  Maybe it was my place to answer, no matter how much I didn't want to admit what had happened.

Daidouji is a very smart girl though, and she had put two and two together...and got four and a half, of course.  "Oh my God," she whispered.  "What hospital is she in?"

"What?"  Yes, I was the one with the intelligent reply here.  Or, well, at least I managed to say something, unlike the other two statues in the room.  I looked down at myself and realized I was still covered in blood, and knew what she must have assumed.  "No, Daidouji-san, that's not what happened.  She...we...we don't exactly know where she is."

Now it should be clear why I hadn't wanted to be the one to answer this.  I'm not the most eloquent person when put on the spot, even now that I know the language a bit better.  As much as I wished I could use learning a new language as an excuse for stumbling over words under stress, that simply wasn't the reason.  For some reason when the tough gets going my brain forgets how to operate my mouth.  Great with the sword and the spells, not so handy with the diplomacy and comfort.

"What do you mean?  What happened?  Somebody tell me what's going on here!"  That last demand was reminiscent of her mother, and I quailed more.  I already didn't want to have to say anything.  I wasn't even there when it happened!

"She's been kidnapped," Yukito finally answered, and I nearly slumped in relief.  Yes, he had a much better talent with words than I did.  He was much better at...a lot...of....

I turned my attention back to Eriol's dream journal.  I spared just enough attention to know that Yukito and Touya could handle explanations from here, now that they had proof that I was useless for that particular task.  I sighed, wondering yet again if there was some reason for his insane shifts from English to Japanese and back again.  It made my head hurt.

"Can I have a pen and paper?"  I gave up on trying to make sense of it all at once just by reading it through.  I'd have to translate it bit-by-bit and then figure out how it all fit together.  Leave it to Hiiragizawa to make things that much harder in an emergency.  "An English dictionary would be a good idea too, if you have one handy."

Touya didn't bother with our petty rivalry this time; he just got up and brought me what I asked for.  I nodded in thanks and got to work.

~~~~~@~~~~~

In the end all I ended up with was page after page of the usual maddening hints that make people both believe and disbelieve in prophecy.  I was sure it would all make sense in the end when I could look back and compare it to what had already happened, but right now it still left me with no leads.  _I had a feeling that the unseen enemy was unbeatable, but they ended up being their own downfall in the end._   How the hell would that help me?  It didn't make any sense.  That was just one example of the sort of stuff Eriol had managed to remember from his dreams.  It was hopeless.

I finally pushed the papers away and laid my head on the table.  "If anyone else wants to give this a try, be my guest.  I'm done."

Some of the stuff he wrote down I didn't even see the point of saving.  Pressed flowers?  Who cared about that kind of thing in the first place?  It just showed what kind of strange person Hiiragizawa was in the first place.  I stood, rubbing my eyes wearily and stretching, while Touya and Daidouji picked up random pages of both originals and my notes.  They were welcome to it; I'd had enough.

"Oi, gaki!"  I turned to glare at Touya.  Apparently our truce had reached its limit.  "You left this word here.  Doldrums.  What the hell is that supposed to mean?"  


"What?"  I didn't remember that word.  I walked back to look where he pointed and shrugged.  It was one of the things I'd skipped over, not entirely sure of my translation.  I knew the word, but I'd have to spend too much effort trying to explain it, so I'd left it.  It was from the very first dream, something I'd thought incongruous at the time.  "It's an older English word, not used much anymore.  It means a calm spot, but not in a good way."

"What?  That doesn't make sense."

Leave it to Hiiragizawa to use a word like that.  "I think it was used on old sailing ships, to describe an area where nothing ever happens.  You can have your sails up for days, and you won't get anywhere because the area has no wind and no current to carry you.  You're stuck.  Those are the doldrums.  The only way out is to row, because if you wait for an outside force you could die while you wait."

"There were a lot of ships in the old days without oars, when sailing ships were commonly used, right?"  Daidouji had gotten into the discussion now.  "So, if those ships were caught in the doldrums they were doomed, right?"

"Exactly," I said.

"Well, don't look now, but according to this first dream it seems we are the ones in the doldrums.  Weren't you paying attention?"  Touya was glaring full force now, and I hated to admit that I'd missed that entirely.

"Then, what are you waiting for?  Start rowing."  I returned his glare and crossed my arms to emphasize my point.

Daidouji again interrupted, and I could almost thank her for diffusing the tension between us.  "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like we don't have oars.  You guys said that the ones that took Sakura are invisible, right?  We don't know where to start looking for her, or who took her, or why.  Without any of that, we can't begin to help her at all!"

Without much hope, I sighed.  "I have one thing I could try, but I don't know how well it will work.  Something tells me that it won't, but I can't live with myself if I don't.  Daidouji, do you remember when we were trapped in the school, and the rooms kept changing?"

"Yes.  Sakura told me that you could have found me if you'd had something of mine, so Sakura and I exchanged--" Her eyes grew large, then she grinned.  "I'm sure it would work!  It has to!"  She pulled out a small hair ribbon that looked like it had seen better years.  "It's borrowed, even though she said she'd never ask for it back.  Will that work?"

I hesitated, touching the item and finding no trace of Sakura's aura on it.  I didn't want to be the one to tell Daidouji that their exchange had nullified the magic I could have used.

"If that's what you needed, why didn't you ask me?  I'll go up to her room and get something of hers that's bound to have a stronger impression."  Touya shook his head as he hurried up the stairs, and in that moment I could have kissed him for taking the burden off of my shoulders--I didn't have to ask him, and I didn't have to break the bad news to Daidouji about her trinket.

Well, maybe kissing was too much.  I was appreciative, and we'll leave it at that.

When he returned I was shocked to see what he held.  Nestled in the palm of his had was a small golden chain bracelet with a broken clasp and three small charms on it.  One was a teddy bear, one was a key, and one was a crystal heart that still gleamed in the light.  In the center of that heart was a frosted impression of a cherry blossom...I'd thought of her as soon as I'd seen it.  This was the first birthday present I had sent her from home, when I couldn't leave because duty to the clan held me against my will.  She'd been heartbroken when the clasp broke, but I told her not to worry about it and bought her a replacement.  I had no idea she still held on to this one, and was shocked that Touya would bring this for me to see.  Was it because he knew?  Or was it just because she'd worn it for so long?

"That...will work just fine," I said in a hushed voice.  I found myself straining to keep my voice even as emotion welled within me.  As soon as he handed me the bracelet, I could feel it humming with her life force and an overpowering love.  I had to take a few measured breaths before I could think of working magic.

I sat down and began the old chant that had been handed down from generation to generation in my family.  After the third hushed repetition the world around me fell away and I saw the silver string that bound this small trinket in my hand to the owner.  I followed emotionlessly, gathering the direction and distance like facts read from a book.  Or, I should say that I tried to do this, as it was the usual thing to do.  Distance: vast.  Direction:  everywhere.  Unusual readings, but not entirely unexpected.  It only served to confirm what I'd already suspected.  She would not be found by normal means.

"I have good news, and I have bad news," I stated ironically as I opened my eyes.

"I hate that phrase," Touya groaned.  "Well, let's get the bad news out of the way so we have something to look forward to."

"Don't get your hopes up," I muttered with a sigh.  "Well, I was right.  This simple spell isn't going to be enough to find her.  I had to try, to get it out of the way, but whatever is powerful enough to have kidnapped her is also strong enough to block this spell.  Obviously."

Daidouji nodded, too practical to let that bring her down.  "Okay.  Tell us the good news."

"She's alive," I said with a slight grin.  "Not that I thought she wasn't, but it's nice to know for sure."

Their expressions spoke in unison.  The first reaction was exasperation; of course she was alive!  Then there was doubt; they'd both worried, just as I had.  Finally they both looked as relieved as I had been when I realized I'd been "holding my breath" this whole time.

It was the voice from behind me that broke the mood though.  "Of course she is.  I would know immediately if she wasn't."  I turned around to find that Yue was with us again, looking exasperated with all three of us.  "Let's not celebrate her continued existence too soon.  We don't know what her kidnappers have in mind for the future, so the sooner we do find her the better."

"I know that," I muttered, hurt.  Why did he have to rob me of the only good thing I had found since Sakura had been taken?  I needed that hope, and it stung to have it belittled.  "Unless you plan to row this ship by yourself, don't rob me of my simple pleasures.  We need all the hope we can get."

He blinked, clearly confused.  He had missed all the talk of ships and doldrums, so Daidouji covered her mouth and turned away to hide her laughter...and Touya smirked outright.  It was a beautiful sight, seeing Yue's perfect facade broken like that.  I'll go so far as to say it gave me warm fuzzies, seeing his expression.

"I'll explain later," Touya said, still grinning.  He returned to business a moment later though, looking at the pages again.  "There does have to be a way to help though.  Why would there have been so many dreams if we weren't meant to find a way past this?"

I shook my head.  "We just might have to wait until acted upon by an outside force.  Maybe we'll find a clue, maybe something will happen that we don't expect right now.  I don't know what else to do."  The words made me sick to my stomach.  I wanted there to be something I could do that no one else could.  I wanted to save her immediately from whatever horrible fate awaited her, but I could think of nothing else.  If Hiiragizawa couldn't help, if my own spells were so easily blocked, what else was there?

Oh, but it sickened me to think that I could be doing anything resembling giving up.

But...no one else came up with any suggestions either.

I looked at that first sheet of paper again, where Eriol had scribbled the word "doldrums" surrounded by kanji describing his dream.  It stood out, and now I couldn't see why it hadn't stuck with me past the first page.  That one word spoke so clearly about where we were right now.  I handed the sheet to Yue and stormed out of the room.  His softly murmured "Ah, I see," followed me, but it was no comfort.

This was the feeling I hated the most.  There was nothing I could do.  Sakura was in danger yet again, and all I could do was stand aside and let it happen.  Again.  It was too much this time.  I found myself calmly walking to the bathroom and locking the door, then I kneeled before the toilet.  I was surprised to note I was trembling, and when I saw myself in the mirror I think I had gone pale.  It felt like I was watching from a great distance as I bent over and let everything come out.  It was the worst feeling.  It hurt.  It was the only release I had though, and I could cry as it happened.  While I did this, it was okay to cry.  I shook harder, closing my eyes and finding a dark void there ready and waiting for me.  I somehow managed to flush before I passed out for a third time that afternoon.


	5. The Key

I heard Sakura's voice.  She was laughing and happy, and I was sure that if I could just open my eyes I would see her smiling at me and I'd just be shrugging off another bad dream.  Maybe I should tell her this time and ask her if she'd been having any strange dreams of her own.  Signs were read wrong all the time after all, so it was possible that these dreams had been a warning.  I'd just double-check with her, as soon as I could open my eyes.

My head started pounding though as soon as I tried, and I felt like I was being stabbed with twin ice picks behind my eyes.  I hoped she would forgive me for not looking at her and not seeing her smiling face.  I uttered an apology, but all that came out was a rasping cough.  She was talking again.  I heard her soothing voice and felt the tone vibrate throughout my body.  Sakura really was my everything.  I didn't want to imagine a world without her.

Distantly I heard a dull knocking sound, and someone calling to me.  It was my name, just my name..."Li-kun!"  No, I didn't want to hear anyone who called me that.  There was one voice in the world I wanted to hear, and that other noise was driving away the sweet voice that called me Syaoran.

"Go away," I ground out between clenched teeth.  It was getting harder to hear her now.  Her voice was fading, no matter how hard I concentrated.  "Leave me alone, I can't hear her."

"Are you okay?  Li-kun!  Open the door, you've been in there too long."

I moaned, curling up in a ball as a wave of pain and nausea washed over me.  Her voice was gone, and I felt the cold tile of the bathroom floor against my arm and cheek.

"Li-kun!"  It was Daidouji's voice on the other side of the door, and she sounded on the verge of panic.  "He hasn't been answering, but I think I heard him groan or something.  The door is locked, I can't get in."

"Gaki!  Either tell us to go away or open the door, now!"

I tried to sit up.  I got so far as to pull my legs under me and prop myself up with my arms, but I was shaking too hard and the exertion was too much.  I slid back down to the floor and moaned again, holding my throbbing skull together.

The doorknob rattled a few times and then I heard a loud thud as if someone had thrown himself into the door.  I heard Touya complain about that for a few moments before either Yue or Yukito's voice came through the door.

"Let me take care of it," he said in his soft and pleasant voice.  I decided it must be Yue, because I could suddenly feel the rush of magic that hit the door and threw it open, undoing the lock in an instant.

I looked up as the three rushed in.  I knew I was a mess; I probably looked worse than I ever had in my life.  I was almost grateful that Sakura couldn't see me now...but I corrected myself in an instant.  It didn't matter how I looked.  If I looked like this for the rest of eternity I wouldn't mind it as long as I got her back.

I rolled back over onto the floor and let them clean me up.  Touya and Yue helped me stand so I could rinse my mouth in the sink, then they guided me over to Touya's old bedroom and sat me down while they cleaned up the blood they hadn't gotten while I was passed out the second time.  They went through the closet and handed me some of Touya's old high school clothes next and let me change out of the torn and bloodied clothes I'd been wearing.  As I peeled off the uniform I realized it was hopelessly ruined, I'd never wear it again.  Part of me was relieved that it was just a school uniform, but another part quailed at having to replace it.  I hated wasting money like that.

I was surprised at how well Touya's old clothes fit, and even more surprised at how good they looked.  They were at least seven or eight years old, but they were of classic and simple designs that didn't easily go out of fashion and were the kinds of things I'd have picked out for myself.  I hated to admit that he had good taste, but here was the proof.

Kinomoto-sensei arrived home soon after that, and Touya took charge.  "Yuki and I will tell Dad everything.  Tomoyo-san, please make sure Li-kun gets home safely."  I thought he would be civil and leave it at that, but some spark of his normal self reasserted itself, preluded by an evil grin.  "We don't want him to pass out yet again on his way home."

I clenched my fists at my side, unable to come up with a retort.  He had me dead to rights, and we both knew it.  I muttered a quick, "Thank you for taking care of me," before heading toward the door, and hopefully a quick getaway.

"Oh, wait a second.  The nights are still chilly."  Touya pulled out a black overcoat, also left over from his high school days, but this one looked barely touched and I barely remembered him ever wearing it.  I think this was the coat he only wore on special occasions, and I felt a little strange putting it on.  "It should be warm enough for you.  The last thing we need is for you to get even more sick than you already are."

"Watch it, Kinomoto.  I can still kick your ass."

"After we get Sakura back, then I'd like to see you try."  He smiled, and it felt like a promise.  It was something we could both look forward to when this was over.  Some people wouldn't understand why this made either of us feel better, but just take my word that it did.  It's not one of those things I could explain--you either understand it or you don't.

I started shaking as soon as the cold air from outside hit me despite the heavy coat.  Tomoyo's car was waiting in front of the house for us since she'd pulled it out of the driveway when Kinomoto-sensei had returned from work.  Even that short distance wiped me out though, and as I sat in the passenger seat I trembled and almost wished I would pass out again.  This was ridiculous!  Yue had healed me, so I shouldn't be feeling like this.  What was wrong with me?

I leaned my head on the backrest as she walked around to the driver's side door.  I looked around at the world and let my eyes lose their focus, just drinking in the darkening neighborhood as the shadows grew.  It was dusk already and the sky was a washed-out gray color.  There weren't any clouds to refract brilliant colors or bring any brilliance to the world; everything was just steadily growing dim.

I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.  I thought I saw something glimmer in the waning light, something that struck me as a brilliant shade of iridescent green, but as soon as I trained my eyes on that spot there was nothing there.  I shrugged it off as Daidouji sat beside me and started the car.  It was just a trick of the failing light, nothing to be concerned about.

As she drove through the neighborhood though, I wasn't so sure.  I felt jumpy, like I was being watched, and I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye.  It was making me increasingly nervous, but I didn't say a thing.  Everyone was worried enough about me already.

Finally though, something happened so I could not ignore it.  "Look out!" I cried out, staring at a figure in the middle of the road.  I couldn't see it clearly, but it was as tall as any human and clothed in glittering green...but it was somehow too blurry for me to get a good look at.  I blinked a few times, staring, and was shocked that we weren't slowing down.

"What's the matter?"  Daidouji was looking around, and sounded concerned, but she wasn't reacting like she should.

"Stop!  You're going to hit--" I looked back toward the road, but there was nothing there.  She stopped anyway, but it was a gesture simply to placate me.

"What's wrong, Li-kun?"

I was shaking harder than ever.  "I have no idea.  I keep seeing things...."

She started going again, and when we reached the next intersection she took an unexpected turn.  "I don't know if you're delirious or not, but I'm taking you to my house.  You can stay in the room you used to use when you'd visit, so it's no trouble at all, but I don't think you should be alone.  If Wei had come with you again, I wouldn't worry, but you shouldn't be on your own right now."

I nodded, finding myself agreeing.  Of course she was right.  With whatever was wrong with me, I would only be opening the door to disaster if someone weren't nearby.  "Thank you," I said, leaning back in the seat.  I closed my eyes this time, not wanting to see any more of those strange people fading in and out of reality.

~~~~~@~~~~~

I managed to stay awake through supper, since Daidouji was kind enough to offer, but I fell asleep almost as soon as I entered the usual guest room.  I somehow made it to the bed and mostly undressed, but I don't remember it.  I know my sleep was interrupted by numerous nightmares, but morning light drove them from me.  Or, I should say that what was revealed by the morning light drove all thoughts of nightmares from me.

I woke up because of a buzzing feeling in the back of my skull, something that reminded me of the fight yesterday.  I could feel strong magic in the room, just like I had before I'd been attacked.  This time, however, I didn't feel any hostile intent.  I hadn't been aware that I had felt that the first time, but, I don't know, this just felt different somehow.

Before I even opened my eyes I grabbed my pendant, preparing to release it immediately depending on what I saw.  I rolled out of bed in a single smooth motion and scanned the room, prepared for anything.

"So, it's true."

The voice was deep, melodious, and came from across the room.  A man stood there adorned in shimmering green armor that was decorated with intricately woven designs.  His arms were crossed before him, and his cold blue eyes glittered in the direct sunlight.  His hair was long and dark blue, pulled back behind long pointed ears, falling to the middle of his back.  He was tall and thin, and though he stood in a casual pose, I could tell he was tensed on the edge, ready to strike.  Every instinct within me cried that this man was a worthy opponent.

"What?  Who are you?"

He held his chin thoughtfully, walking closer and looking at me as if appraising something on display.  "So, you survived the attack.  Congratulations.  Now you can see us.  That alone will not save your girl though.  Not at all, not at all."  He shook his head, staying just out of my reach, watching.  "You are the possessor of more magic than just that though, so you might stand a chance.  Can you figure it out in time?  Doubtful.  Still, it's a possibility.  Should I strike you down now?  Or should I take a chance of my own?"

I brought out my sword and swiftly brought it to his neck.  He didn't flinch, but looked at me with still the same expression.  "What have you done with Sakura?"

"Me?  Not a thing.  Not a blessed thing.  You have quick reflexes, though you act before you think.  That could be good or bad, good or bad."  He nodded, walking calmly to the side.

"What the hell are you talking about?"  This guy was really starting to unnerve me.

"So, survive you shall.  For now."  He turned away and walked toward the window.  "We are going to meet again."  Blue wings the same color as his hair extended from his back, and in the blink of an eye he walked through the window and took flight.  I rushed to the window, watching him fly, for some reason mesmerized until he vanished from my view.

As soon as I could think again, I realized.  I knew what this meant.  I knew what he represented.  The only thing was--

"What are they doing in Japan?  Why do they want Sakura?"

This...this could be very bad.


	6. Unlocked

I sat and stared in utter silence for a while.  I'm not sure how long I stayed in shock that way, but eventually there was a knock at the door and Daidouji's voice called through.  "I'm already awake," I said, opening the door.

She looked me over and tsked softly.  "You look like you slept in those clothes."

I just nodded.  No sense explaining that I actually had, she'd just "tsk" at me again.  "We need to get in touch with Yue, quickly.  Do you have their phone number?"

She shook her head, soft lavender curls bouncing as they collided with her shoulders.  Morning light seemed to wash out her dark hair, making it look the exact color of the dried lavender buds I'd used in exotic spells on occasion.  It wasn't my usual style, not something I felt fully confident about, but for some purposes they worked so well--

I shook my own head, trying to clear my thoughts.  "Okay, fine.  Can we go over there?  It's more important than school, trust me.  I think I might know of a way to find Sakura."

Her eyes widened, looking child-like again in her enthusiasm.  "Really this time?  Thank you!"

The wind was knocked out of me from the force of her hug as she collided with me at high velocity.  How had she done that from maybe a foot or two away?  For a girl with no magic, she could do some strange, physics-defying stunts sometimes.  I knew she didn't have magic, but that didn't stop her from doing things that were blatantly defiant of all scientific principles I'd learned.  It had to be because she was Sakura's cousin or because she'd spent so much time glued to Sakura's side over the years.  Then again, I suppose Daidouji had a magic of her own that had nothing to do with spells and supernatural abilities.  She was just...she was Daidouji.

When I could breathe again I pushed her away slightly so I could talk.  "We should just get going, so we can get her back as fast as we can."

"Of course," she said, instantly composed and walking out the door.  "I'll be right back with my video camera and some food.  Oh!  I need to get some clothes too!  Do you want to come with me so I can give you your--"

I was shaking my head before I'd even thought of what I would say that wouldn't hurt her feelings, but I really didn't want to wear one of her "battle costumes".  Oh, sure, the one she'd made that matched Sakura's when we'd battled that final card--that particular costume had been so perfect I hadn't dreamed of refusing.  But, I'd seen some of the things she'd dressed her best friend in when given free reign, and I didn't want to take my chances.  On Sakura they all looked adorable, but I was finding myself backing away in fear.  There was no telling what this girl had sewn in my absence.

"We need to just go, as fast as we can.  Necessities."

Somebody tell me how girls can look both hurt and amused at the same time, please?  She was doing exactly that.  "You don't trust me, do you Li-kun?"

My mouth worked, trying to come up with a reply to this obvious trap.  Damned if I do, damned if I don't.  "It's not that, it's just--"

"It's okay."  She smiled, but she looked heartbroken.  I couldn't do that to her!

"No, let's just hurry.  I don't want to get stuck trying to figure out what zip or buckle or button or snap or whatever goes to the other part and--"

"Silly!  I'll help, that's no problem!"

That's another thing I was afraid of.  Help?  Getting into clothes?  Please tell me that's not what she was offering.

She was already racing down the long hallway, looking like the same little girl I'd met all those years ago, constantly chasing her best friend down from behind the lens of a camera.  I dreaded that enthusiasm, though some part of me welcomed it for the sweet nostalgia and comfort of familiarity.  In the darkest hours, Daidouji and her silent enthusiasm had been a constant, supporting with her silent strength and utter faith that Sakura would always triumph.

Okay, I'd play along.

~~~~~@~~~~~

Half an hour later I was again in the passenger seat of the car, this time driving toward Sakura's house.  Before we would have left, Touya had called Daidouji's house to ask for my number.  Yue had remembered something that might be relevant, and wanted to ask if I'd had any more nightmares.  I jumped on the opportunity to arrange a meeting with the two of them, hoping to exchange information.

As I watched out the window at the passing landscape I could now see how my perception had been changed.  Spirits I had seen only dimly before now looked solid.  Living things like trees and people we passed seemed brighter, almost glowing.  Maybe that's why I'd caught myself staring at Tomoyo's hair....

More than that though--I could see things that had been completely hidden before.  Doors were in places that had no right to have doors, strange glittering paths hung in midair, even entire houses were perched in trees by some force that went far beyond the normal constraints of magic.  As we passed younger children walking to school, we saw a pair sword fighting and showing off for their friends.  One was dressed as a pirate and the other was dressed as a samurai in full armor.  That in itself seemed strange, but as I watched the pirate was defeated and fell to the ground dramatically, bleeding everywhere.  I jumped, about to open the door of the moving vehicle and rush to the boy's aid, but immediately they became normal children in school uniforms, and the swords turned into sticks.  Their small audience was applauding, helping the fallen boy to stand, and everyone smiled.

The final clue had just fallen into place.  I was seeing their dreams, their wishes.  It wasn't magic, it was their pure will being imposed upon some level of existence that should not even exist.  As far as I knew, this had been theorized before, but it was something most people scoffed at as the ramblings of those who didn't know a thing about true magic.

We pulled up to their house finally, and I could see a strange glow that enhanced and increased the magic presence Yue usually couldn't help but project.  If he glowed this brightly to those who could see this, I could imagine that Sakura was a beacon of such brightness that had never been seen before...or, not since Clow Reed.  She may possess the power of the stars, the least directly intense form, but her ability had grown immeasurably since she had changed all the cards, and her power was not of one single glow in the night sky, but that of every small glittering jewel in the night sky.

I took a deep breath as we walked to the door, steeling myself, steadying my emotions as they threatened to overwhelm me.  It was so hard to believe she was gone, just like that.  I had just--

No, I couldn't let myself start thinking like that.  I had to concentrate on rescuing her and not think about how she was gone.  I couldn't let myself begin grieving for her loss.  If I let that happen, I might never get her back.  So, we walked to the door, and I thought only of how I would save her.  I would need Yue's help, and I probably couldn't stop Touya from rushing to her aid as well.  Should we let Daidouji come along, or--

"Don't you dare start thinking of leaving me behind, Li-kun.  I may not have any magic, and I know there's not a lot I can do to help, but this is Sakura-chan.  I just can't sit by and wait for news when she's in danger.  She'd do the same for me."

That settled that issue.  I sighed and pressed the intercom button, knowing better than to argue with her.  Daidouji didn't put her foot down often, usually too proper to say anything that might be construed as "bossy".  It was a measure of how this situation was affecting all of us that she would come out and say such a thing to me, but deep down I was relieved to have that decision taken from my shoulders.

Yue opened the door, his face as impassive as always, arms crossed at his chest.  He looked closely at me, eyes narrowing thoughtfully, and I wondered what he saw in me that warranted such an appraisal.  "Interesting choice in clothes," was all he said.

Oh.  Was that all?  I blushed slightly, but Daidouji preened.

"I'm so very glad that I made it the right size.  It's an outfit I worked on before he returned, so I was worried, but only took a little bit of work to get it to fit perfectly."  She was very enthusiastic as she started in on that, smiling at both of us, but suddenly a tear formed in her eye despite her smile.  "I have a matching dress for Sakura-chan, and I'd really like to have a picture of them both...."  She trailed off, looking a little lost.  I realized I wouldn't know quite how to finish that sentence either, without saying something that just shouldn't be said at this point.

"I will try to keep this in perfect condition until we can give Sakura her dress," I vowed, trying on a small smile.  It worked for me, somehow giving me hope, though it wasn't nearly the size of smile I'd worn just yesterday at this time.  Only Sakura could make me smile like that.

The other two nodded solemnly, and then we walked inside in silence.  We went through the usual polite motions somewhat hollowly, and I felt like a puppet being pulled along by the strings of ingrained habit.  No, not the same habit as at home, but this was Sakura's world, and it was as much a part of me as everything I'd been raised with for that reason.  Before I even realized I'd fallen for her, I had practiced these things so I would not look like an idiot in her eyes.

Touya was sitting in the living room, scowling at pieces of paper scattered across the table.  After only a cursory glance I realized they were the faxes Eriol had sent and the notes and translations I'd attempted.  There had been a few corrections made to my attempts, and I assumed Yue would have been the one who did that.  He would understand Clow's mind better than I would after all.

"Well, brat?  What's the news you had to deliver in person?"  Touya was giving his usual death glare in greeting.

"I have the key to finding her," I said.

The room went so silent that a pin dropping would echo a few times.

"How?  Where is she?  If you know where she is, why haven't you just gone to get her yet?"

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who thought Touya's questions were silly.  It was tempting to fire off a mocking reply, but this wasn't the time for that.  Well, I also couldn't think of anything off the top of my head.  I wanted to just get to the point.

"I don't have all the answers yet, unfortunately.  I have a starting point though, finally."  I filled them in on what I'd been feeling since I had been stabbed, what I'd seen when Daidouji had been driving me home, and the strange visit when I'd woken up.  I kept looking at Yue to see if he came to any of the same conclusions I had, but his expression was a perfect deadpan as I relayed my story.  It was only when I stopped that he moved at all, and that was to turn away in thought.

The other two were silent as well, letting what I'd said sink in and process.  I wasn't surprised a bit that Touya was the one to break the silence first.  He walked over to Yue and put his hand on the guardian's shoulder warmly.  "Yue?  Does any of that mean anything to you?"

He nodded curtly in reply, but did not elaborate.

"Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but that guy that was in my room was an elf?"

Yue shook his head.  "Elves don't have wings."

"So, a fairy?"

This time he nodded.  When he didn't add anything else though, I let out an exasperated sigh.

"What's a fairy?" Tomoyo asked calmly.  "I assume you don't mean the little kind with bug wings from those American cartoons."

"One of many forms of English nature spirits," Yue said, still showing little to no emotion.  "In this case, I'd say they're Irish from Li's description."

"But, why would they take Sakura?"

"That's what I'd like to know," I said, eyes narrowing as I tried to find some sort of answer from Yue's reaction.  Nothing.

"We should go quickly.  There's no telling what kind of trouble Sakura will be in, if this is who has her."

That's all Yue would say on that subject.


	7. Rude Awakening

My eyes were still clamped shut, and I tried to pull the covers completely over my head this time.  The alarm wasn't going off yet, so I had woken up early for a change.  Maybe if I could just get back to sleep, I would forget all about the nightmare this time.  If I could get back to sleep, I could wake up refreshed and ready to face another blissful day at school with Syaoran by my side.

I'd missed him so much.

Kero was asleep on the pillow next to me, as he did on occasion.  The cards were nearby, and everything was as it should be.  When I got around to opening my eyes I would see the familiar sunny yellow walls, and the sun streaming in through the window to my left.

I opened my eyes and sat up, saw none of these things, and closed them tightly again.  Kero was there beside me, and the cards were on a table of pure carved crystal beside the strange bed I was in, but everything was wrong.  This was not my room.  This was the nightmare.

And the nightmare was now real.

I lay down again, covering my head with the blanket, and wished with all my heart to be at home.  Denial was my newest best friend.

"Sakura," Kero's voice was groggy at first.  "Sakura!  What happened?"

It was real.  I had no idea how I got here, or why Kero and the cards were with me.  With them at my side I shouldn't have been afraid.  I was powerful.  I was magical.  I was nigh invincible.

But if that were so, why was I here?  And why was I so afraid?

"I don't know," I whispered, finally pulling the blanket down again and rolling over to look at him.  "The last thing I remember is coming home from school.  But Kero-chan, I'm so afraid."

He patted me on the shoulder with his tiny paw, and I saw the worry in his eyes as well.  "We're here together, and we have the cards.  There's nothing you can't handle.  We'll find a way out of this."

"Yue-san," I whispered, trying to figure out what was wrong a little piece at a time.  "I can tell he's fine, but I can't tell where he is.  He isn't here."  That last bit was the only thing I was at all confident of.  "Wherever 'here' is."

Kero nodded, looking around.  I followed his eyes, but there was nothing to see.  We were surrounded by a curious blankness in all directions.  There was the bed I was on, which was the same size as the one I had at home but with a firmer mattress and dark green sheets that I'd never have at home.  There was the table that held the cards, and when I looked closer at it I realized that it wasn't made of crystal like I'd thought at first.  It was made of the same blankness as everything around us, just made solid for this one purpose.

"Is it all blank to you, too?" I asked.

"Yeah.  It's just this gray nothing that goes on forever and ever.  Where's the light coming from?"

I shook my head, bewildered.  There were no shadows, but I could see just fine.  It was almost like the time I'd sealed the Dark and the Light cards, but we weren't surrounded by darkness, and I was not emanating light.  There was just this vast nothingness, and I could see our little island of somethingness just fine for some reason.

"I don't know," I said.  "It's like something out of a nightmare I had."

"You've had nightmares like this?" Kero asked, frowning more intently now.

"Since Syaoran came back," I admitted reluctantly.  "But all I could ever remember was this.  A big blank nothingness.  And being scared...so scared."  I shivered involuntarily and looked around again.  "And since there was so much nothing, and that's all it was, I never thought to write it down or mention it to anyone.  What would I say?  I'm scared of a lot of nothing?"

Kero sighed and slumped just a bit.  "I guess not.  Prophetic dreams aren't always a lot of help, I guess.  But we can't let that hold us back!"  He squared his shoulders.  "If there's a way to get to this place, there's gotta be a way out!  Let's find it!"

I smiled, sure that we'd find something.  I picked up the cards and Kero changed to his true form, and we set about trying to find a way out.  Kero leaped off the bed in a bound and went first to where my door would be if we were in my bedroom and we were just surrounded by the illusion of nothingness.  There was nothing there, but we were undaunted.  That was just the first thing to try.  We reached around, looking for walls, windows, something, anything at all to break the vast grayness around us.

But there was just nothing.  It felt like we could go on forever in any direction, but the bed and the gray nothing table never seemed more than five paces away.  I tried standing still while Kero ran in another direction, and at a certain point it was like he was running in place, but he felt like he was actually moving and getting somewhere.  Flying yielded the same results.  We could fly in opposite directions and feel the wind in our faces and the strain of real progress, but we never got very far from the bed that sat in the middle of it all and never very far from each other at all.

Kero tore at the nothingness, and even the Sword could not cut through it.  Shield could not protect us from it.  There was nothing for Through to make us go through, we'd just end up on the other side of the room.  Attack cards like Fiery and Watery would reach the same point that Kero and I would reach and they'd stop no matter how hard they tried.  I even tried Arrow and we stood and watched as the arrow hovered in midair at the limit of our space for a very long time before I dismissed the card.

"There's got to be some way out," I said, sitting down on the bed again and thinking.  The nothingness wasn't as scary now.  It was worrying, but it reminded me of all of the problems Eriol had put me through, and that had calmed me down.

I had one more card I could think to try, but I wasn't sure it was a good idea.  I ran my fingers over Earthy, but there was a huge risk with using that much power here.  The floor was solid, so there had to be something beneath us.  First of all, I couldn't tell if it was actual ground.  Second of all, if it were ground what would happen if I opened it beneath us?  Was it a viable escape?  Or would it put us in more danger?  Was it worth that risk yet?  Or was there still something I hadn't thought of?  I slid the card back into the deck, deciding that Earthy would be used as a last resort.

A few moments later I heard a knock and a door opened in the nothingness.  Kero and I started toward it, but someone stood there with a spear and a glare and a snarl that took me aback.

"Thief, you try our patience!  Cease with your stolen magic or we shall be forced to drastic measures until the time of your trial!"

Thief?  Me?  "But, I didn't..."

"No one ever does!" the guard growled and I realized it was useless to argue with him.  "If you're innocent, we will know soon enough.  Unless you keep up with your infernal magical racket in there!"

The door slammed shut.

"But, I didn't steal anything," I said, looking at Kero.  "Did I?"

"Of course not," he said, but there was a worried crease between his eyes.  "You didn't do anything wrong."  He returned to his small form and patted me on the head before flying over to sit again on the bed.  "But what are THEY doing in Japan?"  He whispered the last part, speaking to himself, and no matter how much I asked he wouldn't explain.

~@~

The door opened again and we were brought food.  It smelled wonderful and I moved toward it right away, but Kero stopped me.

"We don't know if it's safe," he said, sniffing it cautiously.  "I mean, it smells safe.  It smells so good.  I don't think food has ever smelled so delicious..." Kero trailed off, leaning toward the plate of food for a moment before he stopped himself.  "But we don't know if we can trust it."

My stomach growled, but I nodded and took his advice.  I even crossed my arms to keep my hands from wandering toward the temptation.  It even looked delicious.  It was the scent of syrup that infused the room, and it was set in an ornate cup in the center of a selection of beautiful fresh fruits.  Some of the fruits were ones I didn't even recognize, but they looked amazing.

"Maybe a taste," Kero was murmuring as he drifted toward the plate as if against his will.  He always had been a slave to his stomach.

"You said we don't know if we can trust it," I reminded him.

"We'll never find a way out if we starve to death."

Before I could say another word he started eating.

"Hey!" I said, alarmed at how fast he was devouring it.  "Leave some for me!"

All I could think about was how hungry I was.  If there was magic to that, I didn't care at the time.  I needed to eat some time, and I couldn't eat if Kero had it all.

It was as delicious as it smelled.

"Sakura," Kero whispered, looking around.  "Maybe we shouldn't have eaten that."

I looked around, seeing what he had seen, and I nodded.  The darkness had melted away as we ate.

"At least now we can see what we're up against."


	8. Damsel in Distress

We were surrounded on all sides.  They looked at us, some curious, some hostile, and some amused.  There were murmurs and whispers behind raised hands or elevated fans, but they all stared at me and Kero as if they were totally incapable of tearing their eyes away.  We were obviously the curiosity of the day, while I thought any single one of them would be more suited to the position than I was.

They all looked so strange and fantastical!  Some looked eerily similar to the cards, both human-looking and animistic.  Or animalistic?  Maybe both.  They were like old paintings of demons and gods, tanuki and kitsune and there were even some that reminded me of Yue and Ruby Moon, only somehow both more beautiful and more frighteningly real.  My eyes darted all around, finding new wonders and distractions before I could really comprehend what had caught my attention a moment before.

Kero was immediately in his true form, trying to curl around me and protect me from all sides at once.  “Sakura, this is bad.  Real bad…” he murmured softly.

“Why?  Who are these people?”  I held my staff in my hands, food forgotten, growing dizzy from trying to look everywhere at once.

“People you don’t wanna mess with.  Especially so many at a time.”

I nodded, gripping my staff harder, biting my lip as I tried to figure out what to do.  “Are they dangerous?”

“Kinda.  Yeah, they can be.  But you’re stronger than they are.  You just can’t let ‘em fool you, or trick you into falling into their power.  You should be okay, since we can see them.”

He didn’t sound very convincing.  We were already in their power, weren’t we?  And we could see them only because they wanted us to see them, I was sure.  Maybe I was stronger than any single one of them, but there were so many of them.  I’d fought the cards one at a time, and that’s how I beat them.  If I’d ever had to fight all of them at once, even with Kero and Yue at full strength, I’d never have won.  Something about this told me that fighting everyone here would be like fighting all of the cards at the same time.  I just couldn’t do it.

“Who are they, Kero?” I asked again, putting a hand on his back to steady myself.

“Old friends, and adversaries, of Clow.  They’re fairies, and they’re a long way from home.”

“They’re from England?  Like Eriol?”

Kero just nodded, but then he shook his head as if fighting off the effects of something.  He was trembling with the effort to stay on his feet.  “Stay strong, Sakura.  The food—“

Oh no, the food.  It must have been poisoned.  I was feeling dizzy as well, and weak.  “You should…conserve your energy.  Return to your false form.”

“Gotta…protect you…”

He tried, but he just couldn’t maintain his strength.  I looked at him, telling him silently that it was okay.  I could defend myself, and him as well if I had to.  I held out the cards, willing them to protect us, and they hovered in a circle around us, warding off danger as Kero shrank and all but collapsed upon my shoulder.

The murmurs from the crowd increased, and I made out taunts and protests here and there.  Some brave souls began approaching, shaking fists threateningly, only to be pushed back by one card or another.  Fiery and Lightning were particularly aggressive in our defense, though they stopped shy of actually hurting anyone who came close as long as they backed away.  They were putting on quite an impressive show, but I was getting weaker by the moment and their displays did not help.

“Back away!”  The voice that rang out was strong and commanding.  “You’re like vultures, the lot of you.  This girl has not been found guilty, yet.  Back away, I tell you.  Back away!”

The crowd obeyed immediately, but with an air of reluctance.  An aisle was made before me, revealing a man with wings like an angel perched upon a throne.  I honestly thought it was Yue at first, but his hair was short and his features were stronger and less refined.  They could have been brothers, though.  Upon his head was a crown of woven bands of gold with bright green emeralds hovering around it.  His eyes were the same shade of green, reminding me of…someone.

He stood and walked toward me, each stem seeming solid and deliberate.  “Sakura Kinomoto, what do you know of Clow Reed and his crimes against my kind?”

I was struggling to stay upright, struggling not to be sick, and I found strength in his accusation.  “Clow Reed was a kind man, and he’s done wonderful things!  How dare you accuse him of crimes, and kidnap me for them, when he is dead and can’t defend himself!”

The man before me raised his eyebrows in surprise.  “A kind man?  Wonderful things?”

At the same time Kero moaned softly upon my shoulder.  “Sakura…” he said softly, worried and warning me at the same time.

“No!”  I clutched the staff tightly, but the cards parted to let the man with the crown step through their circle, and I could feel their concern for me trumping their worry about this stranger.  They dared not drain my strength further.  “No, I won’t let you—“  I wavered on my feet, and I couldn’t stop myself.  I held my arms out to brace myself from falling, and I found myself propping myself up against the strength of my accuser and kidnapper.

“It’s okay,” he said softly.  “Don’t fight it.  I’ll help.”

There were angry and offended shouts around us, but I didn’t care.  I was awash in a feeling that wanted to rip me from reality, and the only thing solid was the man in front of me.  “Who are you?”

“Your judge, jury, and if it comes to it, your executioner.  Need you know more?”

“Yue was…the judge…”

I couldn’t focus.  The remaining gray darkness was disappearing, and I was surrounded by trees as far as the eye could see.  The sun glittered through the leaves, and dew sparkled everywhere, perfect little dots that threw rainbows on every surface, and here in this clearing I was safe.  I was home.  This man would not kill me.  Yue had already judged me, and I was worthy.  I was fine.  I would always be fine.

"Yue," the man chuckled, and he held me close and protectively in his arms, more muscular than my guardian's were.  "I am not Yue.  I am Cian, king of the Sidhe, though you might call us elves or fairies.  I shall hold you to different standards, sorceress."

I nodded slowly, staring into his eyes as if they were the only things in the world that were real.  That's how it felt to me, and I felt my heartbeat slow.  The world fell out of focus, and then in a snap my perception fell into place and I felt fine.  I gasped, pushing away in confusion.  "What did you do to me?"

"Nothing harmful," King Cian said.  "Not yet."

"You keep saying yet, as if you've already convicted me.  I haven't done anything wrong."

His wings ruffled in surprise and a laugh slipped from his lips.  "I suppose you are right.  By our laws and traditions you have behaved as if you are guilty, but no one ever told you what you have done wrong, have they?"

The murmurs around us reached a new height, but I shot a glare around the glade and the masses fell silent as if I'd commanded it.

"So you're saying I'm guilty even though I'm not part of your kingdom, and I'm completely ignorant of your laws?  You have no authority over me!  By what right are you holding me here?"  I was shaking in anger, but it was mixed with equal parts fear.

"Sakura, they might."  Kero still sounded weak as he tried to warn me again.

"No!  I don't believe it, and I won't accept it.  I'll fight you all if I have to!"  All four element cards sprang to life around me, ready to defend, ready to attack.  We might not win, but we'd do a lot of damage if they were going to be so unfair.

King Cian shook his head.  "By what right?  By every right.  By the right of my birth, by the right of my life, and by the right of the souls that Clow Reed used to create his guardians and his cards from the souls of my people."

I gasped in shock.  "Their…souls?"  I looked around me, and then held Kero in my hands before me, searching for denial.

"It's kinda complicated," Kero said, refusing to look me in the eye.  "It's not like it sounds."

"No, it's exactly like it sounds," King Cian said, but not without compassion.  "He was supposed to bring our people back, return our glory to us, and our power.  He traveled the world, telling us he would save us and make us immortal.  He was supposed to save our souls, not use them as tools for his own gain."

The cards grew restless and angry, but I couldn't tell what had them so agitated.  Kero looked a bit grouchy about what King Cian said, too, but he didn't protest.  He looked resigned, weary.

"Clow couldn't do that," Kero said, looking completely miserable.  "He tried, 'ya see, but it just didn't work.  He never gave up, and I guess we all got our souls from, well…"  He trailed off, shrugging.  "But the memories were gone, no matter what.  And we are kinda immortal, but not really, you know?  But we left because, well, we're all alive now.  We're all different, sure.  We're all ourselves.  And none of us, not me, not Yue, and not any one of the cards, want to give that up.  Clow didn't use us like tools, any more than Sakura does.  We love her.  And she loves us."

"I do," I said, heart swelling.  "I love them very much.  I didn't know how they were made, but they mean so much to me.  I'd do anything for them."

"Anything?" King Cian asked.  "Even return them to their people?"

The cards became alarmed, worried.  The element cards came closer to me, defensive, and Kero was shaking his head in alarm.

I looked at them, felt their fear, and I understood what that would mean.  "No!"  I took a step back, away from the king.  "That would be like killing them!  I couldn't do that to them!"  I hugged Kero close, tears springing to my eyes at the thought.

"You don't think they belong with us?"  King Cian tried to take a step closer, but Watery took a menacing step closer to him at the same time, crouched in a fighting stance.  I hadn't seen Watery look that intimidating before, and the king wisely did not take another step.  "We who loved them in life, we who were their sons and daughters, their brothers and sisters, wives and husbands?  We who still miss them very much?"

I thought of my mother and wondered how I would feel if someone had taken her soul, tried to make her immortal, and turned her into something else entirely.  It was a painful thought, and a tear escaped me, but I held my ground.  The cards needed me.  Kero and Yue needed me.

"I don't know what arrangement Clow had with you, but I am sure he did his best.  He thought of the cards like…he loved the cards as if they were his own children.  He made sure that whoever got them after him would love them just as much.  He did everything in his power, and it was a great deal of power, to make sure they would be safe.  They trust me.  They need me.  I'd never turn my back on them, or just let them die.  I know they mean a lot to you, as they were, but don't they have a right to the lives they have now, so long as they wish it?"

King Cian listened to me thoughtfully, and he caused quite a stir when he bowed to me and held a hand out for me to take.  I moved past Watery and placed my hand in his, and he kissed the back of it.  The crowd gasped, and then silence fell around us.

“You have touched me,” he said, straightening and smiling at me kindly.  “Your passion, and your compassion, have convinced me that you are worthy.  Your news saddens me, personally, but it also gives me hope that at least they will live on in happiness even if they are not the loved ones we once knew.  I need to think, however.  Tradition and law dictate that justice must be done, unless…”  He hesitated, looking into my eyes.

“Unless what?”

“Unless they are legally considered subjects under your rule.”

I looked at him, confused.  “I don’t rule them.  They are my friends.  Every one of them.”

“I can see that,” he said kindly.  “It would be a formality.  Just to appease my own subjects.”

“I suppose so?  I have to think about it.  This is just all so much.”

“Then, as a visiting monarch, will you be my guest tonight?”  He smiled in a way that made me feel as if my feet didn’t touch the ground.  “I will hold a banquet in your honor.”

“I don’t know.”  It was hard to think.  I knew I had a reason to go home.  I knew I had so many things to do.  I just couldn’t think of any of them.  “Yue will be worried about me.  And…”  There were others who would worry, too.  Weren’t there?

“Just for tonight.  To make it up to you, since we were so rude as to take you from your home against your will.  I promise, your other guardian will know that you are fine.  I’m sure he’ll be able to tell.”

Home.  I needed to return home.

It could wait, though.  It was just one night.  Yue wouldn’t worry too much in just one night.

“I’d be honored.”


	9. Golden Chains

I stared at the dress, amazed. It was as beautiful as anything Tomoyo would have made, and I missed her suddenly. Was she worried about me? How long had I been gone? I tried to remember, but—

“Kero, how long have we been here?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged, completely unconcerned. “Hey, that dress is even nicer than the one you wore last night! How do they keep doing that?”

“I know!” It was so elegant, so refined, so delicate, so beautiful… “It’s too much for just me. I’m embarrassed that they keep making such a fuss.”

“You’re a queen, now,” he pointed out, lounging on his pillow. “At least to them you are.”

“It’s so strange,” I said. "From just another girl, to a sorceress, to a queen. I'm so glad that you and the cards are okay with that."

"We've always loved you like a queen," he said, laughing. "I can't remember a time we didn't think of you like you were."

Couldn't remember a time. That should have bothered me. It did bother me. But why?

"Queen Sakura," someone called my name kindly. Her hair was perfect curls, and she held out a box. "It would honor us if you would wear this tiara to match your gown. There are other items too, if you would allow us."

"Of course." I smiled.

The faeries were so kind, so sweet. They'd terrified me at first, before I'd had a chance to get to know them. So eager to please, and everything they did was amazing. The tiara looked like dew suspended in spider web, perfect shimmering jewels on impossibly thin silver strands. How did they do this? It had to be magic, like everything they did.

When they had gone from treating me like a prisoner to treating me like royalty, everything had changed. Hostility had melted away. There were parties. There were dinners. There were quiet moments of peace. I felt like this would never end.

"We need to go soon," the girl said. What was her name? Her curly hair reminded me of someone. "Tonight is a special night, Queen Sakura. You don't want to be late."

They were all special nights, though. Every one of them had been.

"We should…" But, what is it we should do? Who was "we" in that statement? Me and Kero? Me and the cards? Me and the girl who helped me so much, and what was her name? Why couldn't I remember? "What is your name?"

"I've told you," she laughed. "It's unimportant. Come along, there will be a dance, and there are dignitaries visiting from very far away. We can't keep King Cian waiting."

"I'll stay here, with the cards," Kero said, tucking in to eat already. He was so happy. He'd never been happier or more content.

And so I followed the girl, and dinner with King Cian was amazing. Everything was so beautiful, and the food was unbelievably delicious. When King Cian and I danced, we were in perfect step as if we'd been doing this our whole lives.

"This is so much fun," I laughed as the song came to an end. I could do this all night with him. "I should get home, but…"

I should. I needed to go home. Didn't I?

"Tomorrow," he said, smiling kindly. "Just give me tonight to bask in your kindness and strength."

I blushed so hard that my cheeks hurt.

He introduced me to so many people. Visiting kings and queens of other countries, all dazzling and beautiful; princes and princesses; other royalty or nobility. I couldn't believe I could meet so many magical beings in one night. They glittered and glowed. They flew on gossamer wings, dancing in the air, and with my cards I learned to do the same. I'd never really danced while flying before. Not like that. It was so amazing. I couldn't wait to show…everyone?

Who needed to see me, except for those who were here?

"More wine, Queen Sakura?"

"Queen Sakura, may I offer a chocolate?"

They were all so kind. I knew I couldn't, but I wanted to stay here forever.

"Rose, what do I have planned for tomorrow?"

She smiled at me, her wings fluttering excitedly. "King Cian has a special surprise for you, tomorrow. He wants you to be rested and relaxed. We'll take good care of you, Queen Sakura. Don't worry about a thing."

Don't worry. Of course, I wouldn't worry. Kero was here, beside me. The cards were at my side.

I would never worry about a thing again.

 


	10. Choices

"Your Majesty," I curtsied to King Cian as he joined me on the balcony.

"You bow to no one," he said to me, holding out his hand to me.  "Sakura, in your time here you have done so much for my people.  So much for me."

I had?  I tried to think of just one example, but I couldn't.  For a heartbeat, fear clutched my heart.  And then...calm.  Just calm.  I smiled.

"I hope you would do me the honor of just calling me by my name.  Not titles should come between us.  We are equals, after all."

"I would like that...Cian."  It made me blush so hard, but I wanted to make him happy.

The smile he gave me was beautiful.  His eyes sparkled, his wings fluttered, and everything about this moment was perfect.

"It's been hard," he said, "and terribly lonely since my parents died.  I vowed to avenge them, and now I find I had no reason for revenge.  It has been taken care of for me by the passage of time, and the kindness you show to your subjects."

"They've been just as kind to me," I said.  "I'm sorry there wasn't anything more that Clow or I could do to help them.  But, I'm glad I could bring them back home.  We're all so happy here."

He leaned closer, hand upon my cheek, gazing into my eyes.  His eyes contained an eternity, all of time and space, glowing and shimmering in miniature.  It was mesmerizing to watch.

"You are a queen without a castle," he said softly.  "You rule subjects without a land.  They belong here.  You belong here."

I leaned into his touch, warmed by the attention.  "I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.  Everything here is perfect."

"Will you do me the honor of uniting our people once again?"  He slipped to one knee.  "Will you be my bride?  Will you be my queen?"

There was a reason I had to say no.

I had to...there was someone...

...I needed...

I wrestled with the thoughts but couldn't make sense of them.  I was frozen.

It made perfect sense to say yes.

It would be what was best for everyone.

It would bring peace.

Restitution.

Resolution.

But...I...

I grabbed my glass and drank the rest of the wine in it.  Surely that would help me form the words I needed.  It would cool my burning cheeks and...

What objection could I possibly have?

"I would be honored."

I was honored.  Truly.  It was everything I had ever dreamed of.

From that moment, Kero and I had no time to talk, or even think, until the wedding.


End file.
